I have tried to consecrate myself to God, through many ways. I have failed, but I have more and more hope. All along? In my heart somewhere? I entrusted someone and you know whom: to your care. Because it is perhaps through divine beings, such as yourself which make a bridge of love for all. A bridge for all to pass from sickness, agony and maybe toxic pageantry’s of fear and rage in this life to winking, blinking eyelashes coated like butterflies legs dappled with pearls of gem like dewy love. Love which is ultimately health. It is so hard, it was so hard to believe.
I ask myself? what part did I have in this Colosseum of cacaphonic sadism. Yes, I know that in some way I did. I reacted with anger and rage at attacks, instead of with love. They say that you must love your neighbor, no matter what. Because only God can judge them. Also, because like in Tai Chi? If you fight back? You create a spoon, where they can spoon. Even if this spoon is of hatred. Suddenly? I am adhered to their anger, when in fact? It is better to be invisible with an unconditional love. Then there is nothing and no one to fight with and each is left with their original source of pain to address. Often times there is a great need, however to protect oneself from dangerous and possibly fatal attacks. But? I wish I would know, what I know now in hindsight. Someone once said? Be hind to whomever you meet, for they may be fighting a battle you can never imagine. Can we really reason with a killing wolf? The buddha with his mind was able to subdue a herd of wild elephants, tigers, Garuda’s, nymphs and a pantheon of gods. He sat there meditating and they simply with his heart were transformed. A new gravity, force field ensues. This is a gift only from the divine beings.
There is a story of a little girl whom was assaulted and she was studying to be a nun. She prayed for her attacker and later long after her death? He became a priest. She became a Saint. Is it not true that life is so good? So jealous of all enmity that may assail us? Goodness, health and choreography of syncopated foot steps in bare feet? No of some angelic realm which like Tinkerbell’s pixie dust falls upon our hearts to defend all that is reaching toward a gloriousness, of green life.
When Audrey Hepburn says that health is wrapped up in forgetfulness? It reminds me of the Buddhist agreement to not be attached to dissonant moods. Just forget and know too… Something good will always come from love and forgiveness and from forgetting where you buried the hatchet. Do not make the spot, in case you need it again.
But being sad too, is an unfortunate art form. Alas, there is a form of love in war? Action and reaction. There is the echo of a furtive move or glance. There is that safe place in which to interact albeit violently with another human being which feeds another paradigm altogether. But what happens if we look and we see these so-called antagonists as very shy, furtive sorts of energies or a black ivy that grows from sitting on the fence of life. What happens if you see that the person whom appears to be wanting to put a hurt on you, as some very melancholic heartbroken being? Not human anymore nor demon nor ghost? What if he were caught upon a barbed wire of bloody spikes as he tried to climb the fence of life. Let not violence be the only way in which we can feel close to another human being with our deepest secrets. Let it be that all is accepted under the velvet blue skies.
Life puts such painful choices, such inadequate rations and or arsenal of tools. In life we meet people whom perhaps even ran from a raging beast of a parent or an abuser themselves and as children they run like Hansel and Gretel but somehow? Birds come and eat those little crumbs of bread we need to find our way back home. What if Hansel were bitten by a poisonous snake, and he became this swollen wreaking Humpty Dumpty, whom all the kings horses and all the kings men? It feels could never but him back together again?
So like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse now? Hansel just goes awol. He does not feel he can ever get back home? The birds of prey have eaten the little trail of lovely crumbs and between the forest of beasts and the witch in the gingerbread house? We all lose our way in life. Shall we all have some sort of dynamic gprs cosmic compass like Genghis Khan? A great genius warrior? Well, a divine map too is a grace of God or a gift. If we meet someone whom is flailing and screaming and sitting entwine in poisonous ivy? Not dead and not quite alive? Shall we fight with this poor pained soul whom got lost on the way to paradise? Who had hopes and dreams too of Olympian gold?
Shall I fight with a poisoned tongue too or sword? Would not this poor Hansel whom too wanted to go for the gold, his plans were foiled by meeting an ogre along the way in life? An abusive authority figure and the spinning milk becomes a venom instead of sweet creamy milky buttery gold, like the golden butter that Tibetan priests pour upon infants foreheads to remind them that angels are their too, right within their third eye? Guiding them away from the parts of the forest in life which will gobble them up with diseases of the heart and mind. To hate, to judge, to encapsulate all dangerous ideas? To make it easy to jump right into quicksands, that are just on the other side of this menacing ivy leaden with poison fence? Perhaps, when they say love your neighbor, it is not only the best thing for them? But it is most of all best for you. I prayed for this pained soul and blu runner. I said? I can see the fear, the madness and the sadness at facing and coming to terms with illness and death. Why should I jump into the mouth of a dying python. Instead? Prayer asked me to become a comedic and singing mongoose!
Perhaps it is better to ask a divine being whose whole life is spent as a guide, as a giver or love, of sweet creams and delicious honey that penetrates thru all diseases as does love? When I am angry and or brutally overwrought? If someone that I know whom loves me comes and makes me laugh or does a kind deed? Suddenly like a lump of coal as dirty as a bloody stone? I am numinously transfixed and alchemically transformed into a diamond. Nature does it all of the time? Unsightly rocks and stones which you least expect? Some part of them becomes a solid then a gas and then a piece of beautiful minty green cerulean jade has grown, like a magical stone mushroom. There are divine forces such as the dna of roses, gardenia, vanilla, lavender, butterscotch chocolate pods that simply defy all pests. When life gave them stress? Nature poured out from their cells a dram of dreams, filled with antioxidants, whose composition encapsulates magical fragrant compositions which repel beasts.
So I ask you? Next time you meet a man caught upon the fence and left there to slowly rot for a hundred years and to do the devils bidding? Give him a saint or a bodhisattva or a fairy grandmothers hand to hold and perhaps? He will get that much closer to the golden world of paradise. Pray for those whom seem to hate you, for they do not hate you ? They are simply in so much broken down infections of pain? They more than anyone deserve love, hope and a prayer to get them over the fence sometimes so that there soul will no longer suffer. You do them no favor in fighting because they will never be the piece of emerald which has been chipped from its rough exterior.
I say, it is people like Audrey Hepburn and strangers whom like angels or mysterious shadows whom have helped to protect me when I was or am a target by lost and hungry ghosts. This is the month of ghosts in Buddhist culture and we make delicious treats for ghosts like in Halloween? Trick or treat and please, please give them treats and prayers so that their souls will be at peace. We believe in the energies that are left behind and needing love to make it to the gardens of paradise. It was in praying to Saint Louise Mont Forte and to Jesus, the Buddha, Mohammed and most of all to God that gave me the grace to love my neighbor no matter what and give him peace. Give him peace. I entrusted his persona to God last Sunday realizing that we never really want to suffer? We all need a little help from our friends when we are wounded, but most of all to be guided by the compass of love out of suffering. I thank you in advance to all divine beings whom help us all with angels all of the time in healing. Healing not always of the body but of the soul. My prayers to you my neighbor for peace and composure.
I used to ask myself? How is it that Charles Manson for example is healthier in body than me? His lungs are perfect, his flesh is not diseased. Then after many years? Many , many universal questions in life? I believe we live in a universe of love and of forgiveness. perhaps? As during the time of many great prophets, such as all of the above, the most pained of all souls whom if they be accused of the worst crimes have found solace in divinity and been converted. The apostles of Christ were murderers, burglars, and all that lies in between. Never judge anyone, but it is a universe made of love. It could be he whom has the worst rap whom is your Saint tomorrow.